Jews With Tools

True Stories of Life in Jewburbia

My Childhood

Memories of my childhood are not filled with tools.  We had a utility room right off of the dining area.  In it was a four drawer chest that was missing at least three of the eight knobs.  You could never shut the top drawer all the way because you would then need a flat head screwdriver to help pry it open and…..right, no screwdrivers in our household.

What I do remember is the drawers being filled with anything but tools; my father’s old newspaper clippings, a phone book and other unidentifiable artifacts from the forties and fifties.  There was, however, a piece of sandpaper and a multi use tool that I looked at for hours trying to figure out what it was for.  Probably something my dad ordered from a catalogue.  Also squeezed into this room were the washer and dryer, a seldom used lawn mower and a few rakes.

Dad was also big on gadgets; like the attachment for your hose that would mix the soap, scrub your car and rinse it, all with the touch of a button.  That lasted I think two uses.  Dad’s biggest triumph, and what made us the laughingstock of our community, was the purchase of the Fly-Mo:  the world’s first lawn mower without wheels.  I think they sold a grand total of one… us.  Definitely before its time, the Fly-Mo used technology similar to a helicopter that made it lift off of the ground about three inches and then you simply swept it around like you would with a floor polisher to cut the grass.  Almost every neighbor came to see Pop and his new gizmo and more than one left shaking his head muttering the words that began to shape my existence, “Jews with Tools.”

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